Get ready, readers—it’s time for a pop quiz. There’s just one question, and every answer is correct. There is one stipulation though—you must give the first answer that comes to mind (no fair self-editing or copying off your neighbor). Get your paper before you and your pencil poised . . .
Ready? Here’s the question: How are you doing today?
Not too difficult, was it? Let’s see what sort of responses came through.
Was your answer something other than fine, peachy keen, doing well or hanging in there? Kudos to you, then! Most of us, including me, respond with typical conversational pleasantries. Pleasantries keep people at a distance and pave the way for typical polite, generalized exchanges.
Why do we do that?
I think two factors cause us to shrink back from honest conversation: ignorance and fear. We are either in the dark about our inner condition because busy lives don’t allow for a healthy amount of self-awareness or we don’t want to share our self-awareness with people who may potentially mishandle our hearts.
When I spend enough time listening to all that rattles about my heart, I don’t have to use the typical responses because the truth of how I am is at-the-ready. The opposite is also true—when I fail to take the time for self-assessment, I cannot share myself with others.
Writing keeps me from succumbing to ignorance and fear. Journal entries, blog posts, scribbled thoughts and phrases—all these act as a gauge for my heart. They tell me how I’m doing. If I fail to get these onto the page, the truth sinks to the bottom, where it is unseen and unable to be shared.
In this week’s High Calling Blogs Book Club reading, we see the value of self-awareness and the necessity of knowing how we are really doing. Author Julia Cameron says this in The Right to Write: An Invitation and Initiation into the Writing Life:
Writing is like looking at an inner compass. We check in and we get our bearings. Ah-ha! I am feeling, thinking, remembering. . . . When we know accurately what it is that we are doing, we tend to be more open, accurate, and affectionate in our dealings [with people].1
One suggestion Cameron gives for initiating a regular knowing of your own self is writing Morning Pages (three pages of freehand writing to process your internal rumblings). She says “they help me to access a warmer and wiser part of myself than my busy modern business persona.”2
Writing regularly keeps you from erecting a persona that is a mere shell of yourself. Such facades are pretty to look at, indeed, but they aren’t easy to know. Writers must know themselves, and write from there. And really, humans must know themselves, and live from there.
The best way I’ve found to know my own self is to regularly get before God, the one who knows me better than I know myself. I simply ask Him to show me how I’m doing. I ask Him to translate the foreign lines and phrases inside me. I ask Him to “search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way” (Ps. 139:23–24).
God uses this written prayer and journaling to tell me how I am (needy, forgiven, loved). More important, God reminds me who I am (His child, a sinner saved by grace). This is the truest me I can share without succumbing to fear or ignorance.
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Join the HCB Book Club. Read other The Right to Write posts from this week here.
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Sources
1. Julia Cameron, The Right to Write: An Invitation and Initiation into the Writing Life (New York, NY: Penguin Putnam, 1998), 77.
2. Julia Cameron, 83.
Image: http://www.theartistsway.com/

Monday, May 24, 2010 at 1:14 pm
Wonderful thoughts, and true. For me, too.
I started something I finally called “A Writer’s Tithe” to describe the first writing of the day being something offered up to God, a conversation about him and about us. Sometimes I put up a post from it on the blog.
I still do it every day I can, as my first writing of the morning. I am continually amazed at what comes to me through this.
ooo, A Writer’s Tithe—love that! Thanks, Cassandra. Now I am all the more excited about the wee hours to come! —es
Monday, May 24, 2010 at 5:55 pm
I love writing as prayer. The times when I am happiest and clearest about life are when I am journaling regularly and reading scripture with it. As I begin my morning pages, I find that I am addressing them to God. Prayers. That’s really what they are.
We’re in this thing together :)
Thanks for encouraging, Laura! So nice to go along with others. —es
Monday, May 24, 2010 at 5:58 pm
[...] Erin’s Let’s Be Brave, Put On Our Big Girl Pants, and Get Real (Yes, I’m Scared Too) [...]
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 at 7:32 am
Thoughtful post. The last two paragraphs were icing on the cake of this post for me. “The best way…to know my own self is to regularly get before God, the one who knows me better than I know myself. I simply ask Him…” Yes, yes.
Nancy, I just had another confirmation of this—this morning, sitting before God, asking Him to search me . . . it dawned on me that the searching results in me being made aware of truth God already knows completely. If I don’t want to own up to reality (face sin, admit my need, etc.), then I turn my back on truth, on Jesus, on the real me. Sometimes truth is painful to own up to, but to deny it seems more costly. —es
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 at 6:57 pm
Thanks. Loved the point about how writing regularly prevents us from being a shell of ourselves. True writing can be full of discovery.
Yes, I needed to preach to myself, and that line was the main point of the sermon. :) Glad it was helpful to you too. —es
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 at 12:19 am
Thank you. This is very timely for me. I haven’t journaled in the last 4 months (since I moved house and started my brand-new position), but I’ve looked at my journal sitting in a not-so-prominent place almost every day and then just glided on past.
I’ve had stretches like that too! Years of journaling disrupted by some event, then pick it up again b/c of some small nudge. I’ve enjoyed the Morning Pages so far, and plan to keep on with it for the duration of the book club. After that, I’ll reassess! But regular writing in some form is needed. Happy journaling to you! —es
Thursday, May 27, 2010 at 7:00 am
I love this post and have been reflecting on it. It seems I can be more honest and take off my mask before others when I’ve already been transparent before the Lord. Thanks for linking that time of openness before Him to writing. I find that’s how I best process who I am in Christ and where He wants me to go (your last paragraph!) It encourages me to do more of this writing/reflection.
Leah—the last few mornings of this have been refreshing! I’m enjoying sitting before the Lord and musing, seeing places in need of forgiveness and healing and adjustment. It reminds me of my Florida retreat, when I had all days to think and pray and journal . . . so I get a small window of retreat each day (and who doesn’t love that?!). —es
Sunday, May 30, 2010 at 12:04 pm
“Such facades are pretty to look at, indeed, but they aren’t easy to know.” Problem is, sometimes I just want to look nice, even to myself, and I don’t want to know the truth about me (too scary, ugly, sad, painful, etc.) The key is, as you said, taking time to go before the Lord in total honesty and look at things through the loving light of his truth. Thanks for the well-written reminder.
Queenie! So true—I want to avoid the painful truth of who I am. Sometimes I squeeze my mind’s eye shut real tight and pretend the real me is someone else completely. :) Only by grace can I stand in truth with the real me. —es